Recently someone told me of an interesting encounter they had in the hallway of the church. This individual, B____, told me of how they saw person C____ and asked the age old question, “How are you doing?” C____ proceeded to unload much of what was on their mind and heart. There were a few things that made this exchange unique.
Firstly, C____ is not one of those people that complain about everything to everyone who asks. You know the type, the cartoon character with the storm-cloud over their head.
Secondly, and more to my point, C____ had been making negative comments about B____ to many individuals over the previous few months!
As C____ unloaded the world of hurt that they were going through, B____’s response was one of conflicting emotion. Externally, B____ responded with hugs and comfort. Internally, B____ was wrestling with their feelings. B____’s own hurt that had been caused by C____ began to well up. B____’s own hurt wanted them to respond with slugs, not hugs.
B____ asked me, “Was I wrong for feeling that way?” “Was I a hypocrit for giving a hug when internally I wasn’t sure I really wanted too?” As we talked it through, it became obvious that, despite the way C____ had treated B____, B____ was acting in the right way and with the right attitude.
When we find ourselves in a situation like this, far too often our sinful nature wants the Shakespearean ‘pound of flesh.’ When in fact, God’s word tells us to do exactly what B____ did, to extend grace to those that need it, not just to those that deserve it. Matthew 5:39 says, “Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.”
Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote in his book, The Cost of Discipleship, about the difference between what he calls “cheap grace” and “costly grace.” Cheap grace is what we experience if we accept Christ as Savior. Costly grace is what we experience when we accept Christ as Savior and Lord. Costly grace results in life transformation, not just in our actions, but also in our attitudes.
B____’s response to C____ shows that B____’s understands the costly grace that Christ extends to us is to result is us provided hugs, not slugs to those that hurt us.
