I’ve heard the argument: “You’d never buy a car without test driving it, why wouldn’t you try living together before you get married?”
The look on my face should tell the person who has posed the question that I cannot comprehend their logic, but some have kept pushing. I usually respond with a line about not having a relationship with your car for life and just walk away.
I’ve heard of different studies over the last couple of decades that have all indicated that living together prior to marriage actually hurts the likelihood of a successful marriage. And it seems time hasn’t changed that fact! Here’s another study being talked about.
I have to confess, I have a little chuckle each time one of these studies is released. After all, the motive behind these studies seems to be, ‘we’ll keep trying until the survey says what we hope it will indicate.’ People just keep wanting to find an excuse to live for themselves and have all their own needs met, and not worry about being committed to someone else for a lifetime.
Joanna and I just celebrated 20 years of marriage. We ditched the kids and headed to England for 10 days. It was great. We had plenty of time to talk as I drove on the wrong side of the road, from the wrong side of the car. (Only had one close call in about 750 miles of driving!) The commitment we made from the outset was to each other, before God. We’ve had to work hard at our relationship just like anyone who has built a 20 year marriage. We’ve learned you can’t take things for granted – especially each other.
We started our marriage with the mindset, ’til death do us part’ instead of, ‘let’s see how it goes’ and I believe that is why we have built a strong marriage.
